. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; I think people should be allowed to do what they want. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. " George Carlin Quotes What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com You and I are not in the big club. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); It is one that we need to function as a society. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Share your thoughts in the comments below! Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. Its never going to get any better. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. "George Carlin confronts reality". Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. They will do anything for the unborn. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. there's no such thing as rights. Trouble is, most of them suck. Just daydreaming. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. 4. Theres no present. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. Its interested in its own power. I think that speaks for itself. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR Religion class was always an easy class. } Some people see things that are, and ask, why? I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; apstag.init({ Stand-Up Comedy. The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. }, When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) You have owners. George Carlin, 84. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. Enjoy! if (isRetina) { The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. 4. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. The planet is fine. What exactly is viewer discretion? }); Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. }; George Carlin. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. The 5 By 5 Rule To Reduce Stress, Anxiety And Worry, The 5 Minute Rule Become Emotionally Invincible, The Curse Of Knowledge: How To Avoid Sabotaging Your Success, Fear-setting: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals, Top 5 Lessons Learned After She Read 500 Self-Help Books, Revealed: How 50 Cent Made Millions With Vitamin Water, Top 10 Business Tips From Billionaire Carlos Slim Hel, 69 Larry Page Quotes To Be A Successful Entrepreneur, 49 Successful Millionaire And Billionaire College Dropouts, Rocky Balboa Motivational Speech By Sylvester Stallone, Walt Disney Was Fired & Rejected 300 Times Failure To Success, Limiting Beliefs: How To Identify And Overcome Them, 77 Frank Zappa Quotes On Life, Government & Music, 101 Vince Lombardi Quotes To Win The Game Of Life, 78 Abraham Maslow Quotes To Max Out Your Potential, 37 Rosa Parks Quotes To Stand Up For Your Freedom, 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life, 31 NoFap Benefits That Will Change Your Life, How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain For Negativity, Anxiety & Depression, 11 Simple Self-Esteem Boosters That Will Change Your Life, I Am Enough A Simple Habit That Will Change Your Life, 15 Reasons Why You Should Stop Watching Porn. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? The planet is fine. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. In America, anyone can become president. setDisplayBids: function() {}, My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly They own everything. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Save the planet? Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; Its a great feeling. "Laugh often, long and loud. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics And the supreme arrogance? Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. [CDATA[ He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. And armbands. George Carlin "The planet is fine. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. Authors. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. George Carlin. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout ! People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. A.async = !0; The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. How are YOU going to tackle today? He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. "I have certain rules I live by. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? " Forget the politicians. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. I mean, life is tough. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. BAM! url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Everybodys going to save something now. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. You have owners. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Use your fucking heads! They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. .__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.authorModuleDropdownMenu{width:180px;border-left:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-right:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-top:1px solid #D8D8D8}.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink,.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink:hover{display:block;text-align:left;padding:12px;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;color:#000000;cursor:pointer}#authorInfo{display:-webkit-box;display:-moz-box;display:-ms-box;display:box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-moz-flex;display:-ms-flex;display:flex;padding:10px 10px 5px 10px}#authorInfo .authorInfoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:1;-moz-box-flex:1;-ms-box-flex:1;box-flex:1}#authorInfo .authorPhotoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:0;-moz-box-flex:0;-ms-box-flex:0;box-flex:0;margin-right:10px}#authorInfo .authorFollow{display:flex}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{border-radius:3px;border:1px solid #D6D0C4;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;-moz-appearance:none;-o-appearance:none;-webkit-appearance:none;appearance:none;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-decoration:none;color:#333333;background-color:#F4F1EA;line-height:1;padding:8px 12px;font-size:16px;padding:12px 24px;box-sizing:border-box;text-align:center;margin-left:0px;padding:0px;min-width:38px;height:32px;background-image:url(/assets/down-caret.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:center;float:right}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{border-color:#DDDDDD}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:hover{color:#333333;background-color:#ede6d6;text-decoration:none}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:active{background-color:#D6D0C4}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{background-color:#F3F3F3;color:#cccccc}@media (max-width: 540px){#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{min-width:20px;width:27px}}#authorBooks{*zoom:1}#authorBooks:after{content:"";display:table;clear:both}#authorBooks .sectionTitle{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;padding:10px 10px 0 10px;margin:0}.accordionContent{padding:0 10px}.authorBio{padding:0 10px;margin-bottom:10px}.authorBooksMeta{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;padding:0 10px}.authorBooksMeta a{color:#00635D}.authorBooksTotalReviewCount:before,.authorBooksTotalRatingCount:before{content:"\00b7"}.authorDetailsList dt,.authorDetailsList dd{display:inline;margin:0}.authorDetailsList dd:after{content:'\A';white-space:pre}.authorDetailsList dt{font-weight:bold}.authorDetailsList dd{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;margin-bottom:15px}.authorDetailsList dd a{color:#00635D}.authorSimilarAuthorsLink{padding:0 10px}.authorDistinctWorksLink{padding:0 10px;display:block;margin-bottom:10px}.authorFansLink{font-weight:bold}.authorInterviewsList{list-style-type:none;margin:0;padding:0}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterview{margin-bottom:15px}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt a{color:#00635D}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewTitle{display:block}.authorName{margin-bottom:10px}.authorShortBio{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorShortBio a{color:#00635D}.authorQuotesLink{margin-bottom:15px}.quotesList{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;margin-top:15px}.quotesPage{margin-left:10px}.noQuotes{margin-top:15px} He was an American standup comedian. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads